Reality my ass!

God I hate reality television. I HATE IT. Cheap, charmless, exploitative, tacky television. It is just mind numbingly tedious and awful.
To be completely honest I only catch mere minutes of it before I quickly change DVDs or Videos of things I actually like. It is a similar ritual to a junkie plunging the needle back into his arm for a second go in case the harsh hideous of his life suddenly comes blinking back into sharp focus.

Here is what I think I saw while changing dvds just a second ago :

TONIGHT on cable channel ITV40 it's 'Home Invasion' with your celebrity host the talentless weather girl from Channel 7 !
Each week we take a willing, or un-willing person off the street (it really doesn't matter which!) and bind them, gag them, strap them to a chair and force their eyelids open with staples whilst a gang of Klu Klux Clansman break into their beloved home and trash the place, stealing anything of any value, sentimental or otherwise. Whilst also rumaging through their private belongings in the hope of finding something incriminating!

If we find any of the following, we won't break the contestants legs :
Crotchless panties
an anonomous love letter
pictures of Joan Crawford

If we find any of the following, the contestant gets to take a bathroom break during the commercial:
Handcuffs.
A used gun with a bullet missing accompanied by some blood stained clothing.
lost footage of Hitler during his final hours doing a distatseful mockery of Winston Churchill in a tutu.
or
Joan Rivers strapped to the inside of their water tank in nothing but edible pajamas.

The person in question is then let back in to their home where they have nothing to eat for 4 days except the shards of what remain of their life and a few scraps of dignity.
The best part of all of this is we film all this every step of the way then show it to his lover/partner or spouse in the hope of an argument.
The lawyers then take home a huge wedge of cash and everyone is happy.

This is followed in the Spring by UKTVDocumentary9's 'humiliation' night hosted by Davina Mcall.

I may have exagerrated some of that but believe me, the state of TV today, it was probably near to the mark. It used to be say NO to drugs, now you need heavy hallucinagens just to get through an evening of normal programming.

Say YES to drugs, say NO to Reality TV!
Let us start a petition - all in favour, please leave a comment in my comments box!